IVF #2

I haven't posted in a while i've been in a haze. I feel like a robot. My last appointment with my RE confirmed that we have one last chance with ivf. We are going to up the gonal f to 450 and try 150 of the menopur. If this doesn't work then the only other option would be donor eggs or adoption. I'm trying to come to terms with everything now. I don't want to get to hopeful and have a big disappointment. But its been really hard. I cry everynight and lay away for hours just thinking of what my life has come too. Never did I think that I would be where I am now when I started this process. I have been taking Coenzyme Q10 pills apparently they are suppose to help the eggs. IVF #2 is scheduled for the end of January probably beginning of February. The clinic is closed for the holidays and you have to be on the Q10 for a few months for them to work. So we'll see what 2010 holds. Will I have a baby or won't I.

Stay tuned!

IVF #1

Well its been a while since i posted. But we did start our first IVF cycle i started the lupron on sept 26th after taking the birth control pill for two weeks. I started the gonal f on Oct 1st i was on 300cc. Went in for my for my first bloodwork and ultrasound and everything looked ok my E2 was at 125. But after it went downhill from there on my second bloodwork my E2 levels were not rising so they put me on 600cc of goanl f at a $1000 a day i knew we wouldn't be able to do that much longer. Alas I did not respond to the gonal f and again my cycle was CANCELLED!!!!!

I am so frustrated, angry, upset and sad. I have yet to complete a whole cycle. At least if I got to complete one and got a BFN then it would feel like there was an end. This way it feels like i start but there no finish.

So were moving on IVF cycle #2 here's hoping that we get to the end. I find out Oct 19th when IVF #2 will be. Watch for it.

Moving to IVF

Well i got the call on Wednesday of last week that my 7th IUI cycle was cancelled and that our only option was to move to IVF. I cried all day on Thursday this was what not what I was hoping for. I am so fortunate and really apreciate my health plan thru my job. They have covered all my medications so far and might also cover 1 IVF cycle. We will pay for the 2nd one and see whether or not a third one is needed. My worst fear is that nothing will happen and we won't have a baby. Me and DH were saving some money to put a down payment on a house, but have decided that we will put that on hold.

So I have started prometrium and am waiting for my day to start the BCP. I go back to the clinic on Sept 10th for a follow-up with RE and to set up our IVF plan.

IUI #7

NOthing to say but, CANCELLED AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

Update

Well Af did show up. I am now on day 17 of IUI cycle #7. I started the puregon on day 3, i started 75cc. They have slowly been increasing it I am now on 150cc. My E2 has been going up really slowly and has also at times been coming back down. I am back in tomorrow and will hopefully have some good news. This process has been driving me crazy. I had to give up a camping trip that I was really looking forward too. My DH was upset at first, but then he understood. He's been really good and wakes up early to go with me for my b/w and u/s. I have a constant reminder on my arm from the b/w. I was thinking about getting something to remind myself of this struggle that I am going thru. So I got in contact with Melody from Hope of my Heart Designs and asked her to my me a fertility bracelet. Its just something to remind me to be strong and to have the courage to see this thru. That one day I will have my miracle.

Waiting for AF AGAIN.

So I finished my Marvelon on Monday and am waiting for AF to show up again. I have to say that have a very high tolerance towards most medications, but the Marvelon really did a number on me. I had headaches, nausea and upset stomach I was so glad to be finished. But now here I am again WAITING. We are going camping for the long weekend next week. I told my husband if AF comes and Day 3 falls on one of our camping days, were going to the clinic and then back to camping.

Update

They found two cysts on my last ultrasound. They have put me on marvelon to try and get them to shrink. I have felt like crap. I get a pain in my left ovary, stomach aches, head aches. This sucks. I'm on day 18. Hopefully will get af next week and start the whole process all over agian.

Good news thou!! My insurance has confirmed they offer coverage for infertility up to a certain amount. For this I am really grateful.

Update on IUI #6

Well Af did show up on Friday. Had an appointment with the clinic on Sunday day #3. The technician found two cysts one on the right ovary one on the left. They had me go back on day 5 which was Tuesday it seems the cyst on the right ovary grew a bit. So this cycle has been CANCELLED. They have put me on marvelon to hopefully stop the cyst from growing. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I have not stopped crying. So it looks like nothing will be happening until the end of July. That is if everything is ok. I feel like i'm in robot mode.

Where oh where is af?

Well, its been a week today that I finished the preovera and af still has not made an appearance. I keep telling myself don't worry about it she'll show, she always does. But me being a worrywort, does not help.

Waiting for AF

Well, I finished my provera on June 16th. I am now waiting for af to show so that I can call in my Day 1. I have also submitted a claim to my health plan to see if they will cover the puregon & sperm wash. So far they have been pretty good at cover all my mediactions.

My 6th cycle, confused, sad, angry, frustrated...

Hi Everyone

I have to admit that i'm not very good at writing. But I thought I would give it a try. Its funny I have all these words going thru my head but I have a hard time writing them down.

So i'm on my 6th IUI cycle, if you could call it that. I have yet to get to the point where I actually go thru to the end of an IUI cycle. As you can see they all get cancelled due to not ovulating. As you can see this makes me angry, sad, frustrated, mad. Which also leads me to ask "Why"? I find I ask myself that a lot. Is it just me. Do you find that you ask yourself that all the time?

Why is my body not doing what it is suppose to be doing?
Why is this happening to me?
Why do I deserve this?

I also have PCOS. Growing up I was a latebloomer I got my period at 12. It was regular for about a year after that i got it very infrequently. I went to Docter after Doctor to told that is was all due to my weight. Yes, I was a chubby kid. It took 24 years for me to be diagnosed as PCOS. I have no regular menstual cycle at all. The only way I get one is to use the provera. No other medication has worked.

Well this is my first post. I hope to be able to post regularly.