Donor Egg Appointment

So yesterday was our appointment with Create Fertility in Toronto. My appointment was for 2pm and I arrived 20 minutes early. I had to have a full bladder ultrasound, so my bladder was full i'm sure a lot of you know that feeling. Well they took me at almost 3pm for the ultrasound. So I was already a little frustrated. Then we waited for the doctor. So she called us into her office and then shes ask why i'm there. Hello ding, ding. So I asked her do you not have a copy of my file from Dr. H's office. Oh no nothing was sent over. Don't you think that if you are seeing a patient you would want to know their history. So I proceeded to tell her my story. An exclusive cycle you looking at $9,000 in clinic fees. That does not incude the donor egg fees($3000-$5000). I told her about Argentina she wasn't to thrilled with that idea. She also wasn't thrilled with the shared cycle idea. Yea i know i won't get 20 eggs from Argentina or a shared cycle but my goal here is to have one child. Not 20 like the duggars or eight like octomom. They won't transfer more than two anyway. So she ordered a whole bunch of boodwork which should have been in my file and more blood test for my husband. A sonohistro exam which i've already done. The the receptionist which wasn't the regular receptionist procedes to take me thru a cycle monitoring excerise hello i'm not cycling. oh the best part is the the blood technician couldn't find my veins but managed to some squeeze 20 tubes of blood out of my arms. Last night i was so emotional that i did a lot of crying but then i thought i'm just making myself sick so then crying turned to anger. Anger at God,and the doctors. Fertility doctors who charge us vulnerable women fees liek crazy because they know we will do anything to have a baby. Maybe the governement would cover it if it wasn't so expensive. Even the donor egg agencies where are they getting these fees from. So I think Argentina is the plan as to when its hard to say. I'm drained in all senses and jsut need to take things as they come.

New Year, New Ideas, New beginnings, New rants!

Hello well its been a while again. We made it thru the holidays and the new year althou it was very emotional we made it thru. As much as I had tried to take a break from the infertility world I haven't suceeded. I have my days where i just want to give up and then there are the days were I keep saying we have to try one last time.

I have a friend who managed to get pregnant thru ivf, she made me mad thou, she complained thruout her pregnancy that she was worried about losing the baby, but she didn't. I just wanted to yell at her stop complaining and maybe enjoy this pregnancy at least your pregnant here i am still waiting. Now all she does is complain about her husband and how he doesn't help and she tried. "Hey i'm still trying here stop complaining."

And then there are the people who take a break and get pregnant a lot of the blogs I have read that has happened. Oh the best one is one of my co-workers her SIL had two ivf babies and just got pregnant on her own.

Another co-worker her daughter leaves home to live on her own but comes back when she can't pay the rent, shes done this at least two times has had a number of different boyfriends but guess what she's pregnant and shes having twins.

Life is so unfair at least to me.

So we have an appointment to go to the Create clinic on Thursday. Who knows what will become of this time will tell.